There Are Three Kinds of Farts: Funny Flatulence Books for Kids
There's a joke in my family that starts "there are three kinds of farts." My Mom, who is living with dementia, finds this old chestnut very funny, mainly because it has very graphic sound effects, but also because it taps into a memory from her youth when she was growing up in Macedonia. One good thing about living with dementia is that my humour, which is of the dad quality and variety, always seems fresh to her.
But Mom is not the only person who finds farts funny. So do many kids! So in honour of my Mom, and to appeal to kids everywhere, here's a selection of fart books for your delight. A little-known but deeply interesting fact – there's actually a subject heading that brings many of these books together: Flatulence - Juvenile.
Do horses fart? What about parrots? An illustrated guide full of humour and scientific facts. Based on a book for adults!
The Secret Life of Farts (ages 7-10)
"Hilarious verses and outrageous illustrations combine to produce a book about the funniest thing in the world: farts! From the racetrack to the concert hall, from humble bank-robbers to esteemed royals, farts are produced everywhere and by everyone."
A guide to animal flatulence, covering the habits of 80 animals in more detail than you ever knew you needed. Discover the explosive answers to questions such as "What is a fossa, and does it fart? Why do clams vomit but not fart? And what is a fart, really?" If you like this one then you may also enjoy Who Cut the Cheese? A Cultural History of the Fart.
Picture Books and Fiction
The World's Biggest Fart (ages 3-7)
Who will win the farting contest? When a hippo, an elephant and even a very refined zebra are in the mix, the results are unpredictable!
No One Likes a Fart (ages 3-7)
Fart just wants to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart. Not even a fart with a heart. Too smelly. Too embarrassing. Too gross.
Toot (board book, available as ebook only)
A baby is delighted to experience his very first fart. This author has many other titles for babies and toddlers, although not on farts!
Everyone Poops (18 months to 3 years)
While it's not exactly on topic, this classic by Japanese author Tarō Gomi is a favourite of my co-worker Christine, one of our Storytime at Home staff. She's an excellent children's librarian so I'm including it here, just because!
The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts (ages 4-7)
First published in Japan, the book begins with an elephant passing gas ("When an elephant farts, the farts are really big") and moves on to people. Simple information about swallowing air, the digestive process and what causes gas to smell.
Good Families Don't (ages 3-7)
When Carmen tries to tell her parents that there is a big fart lying on her bed, they don't believe her. "Good families like ours," they tell her, "do not have farts."
True story, our little doggo Rufus started to fart as he got older. Funny thing – they were silent but deadly and he would just pretend they hadn't happened at all and never take responsibility for them. The first time Rufus farted, it kind of reminded me of my Dad (who died a few years ago) and brought a tear to my eye, both literally and figuratively.
If you'd like to meet Rufus, you can see his innocent face in my post "My Dog is Very Photogenic and Yours Can Be Too: Pet and Animal Portraits".
Also, for 100% transparency, the apple has not fallen far from the tree, as my husband can testify to!
Walter the Farting Dog (ages 4-8)
Walter the dog creates problems with his farts but becomes a hero when burglars enter the house. If you like the first one, there are several others in the series.
Fartasaurus Rex (ages 7-10)
Fans of Captain Underpants will be delighted by the adventures of a group of flatulent kids and a prehistoric fart monster. If you like this one, it's actually part of series so there are plenty more books featuring The Fart Squad.
Find the Farter (ages 6-12)
"Can you tell who made the smell in this fart book for kids? Find the Farteris the hilarious new can-you-find picture book that you don't want to miss! Readers of other "who farts" books will delight in finding the farter who let it rip at the zoo, a basketball game, in outer space, on a plane, and more! Perfect for the young and young at heart, this outrageous interactive book is filled with silly clues and bright, highly detailed illustrations that will keep readers giggling as they search for and find hidden objects and people."
The Fart Quest (ages 8-12)
Dungeons & Dragons, with magical farts! Three young wizards decide to impersonate their mentors and become the heroes of their own smelly saga. Don't miss the follow-up book in this series called The Barf of the Bedazzler.
Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder (ages 8-12)
From a Norwegian crime writer comes a hilarious, gross-out children's series. Two friends help an eccentric professor with his latest invention, a powder that makes one fart. But someone is planning to steal the industrial-strength formula for evil purposes! Other books in the series have titles such as "Who Cut the Cheese?" and "Bubble in the Bathtub."
So, do you have a fart joke or story to share?
If so, please leave a comment below!
And, if you ever see me at the library, please ask me to tell you the joke about the three kinds of farts. I'm sure my Mom is not the only person to find it really funny and it has sound effects which really put the cherry on top.